3.       Do individual paragraphs seem well detailed?  What suggestions would you make about adding specific details?  What else would you like to know?

I think she could add more detail of the car, maybe that she “heard a roaring engine approaching from behind her and screeching breaks as she looked over her shoulder to witness an orange sports car slamming into a pole”.  Also she could add some more detail in her overall reaction to the incident which happened right in front of her.  I would also like to know more about how she was feeling and within the time it took her to call the police why she didn’t go over and check to see how the person in the vehicle was doing.

a.       Where would you like the writer add more visual detail?

I think she should add much more detail in what the car looked like such as how bad the accident really was.  Was the car wrapped around the pole, or just a dent?

b.      Where would you like the writer add more sound detail?

She should add more sound detail besides just the screeching breaks.  I think she needs to elaborate on the engine of the car just before it hit the pole and how loud the crash actually was.  These details might help the readers who have never experienced a crash happening right beside them.

c.       Where would you like the writer add more smell detail?

I don’t see the need to add anymore smell detail unless she added something about the smell of burnt rubber as the tires squealed to a stop.

d.      Where would you like the writer add more taste detail?

I don’t think she needs more taste detail.

e.      Where would you like the writer add more feel or touch details?

She could have said her whole body felt numb with shock of the incident which just happened in front of her.  She also could have added her overall mental state after the shocking event occurred.